a hate letter

I would not be surprised to receive the following letter from one of the students in our program (had they the mental acuity to form grammatically correct sentences). Not one little bit surprised.

Dear Stupid Caitlin,

I have somehow, through circumstances wholly unknown to you, come to be a single parent without any viable means of supporting my children. This fact alone entitles me to special privileges and financial support, and the services you offer me are my absolute right. I sincerely hope you do not expect any signs of gratitude from me, because there is no need for me to be especially grateful for the free money to which I am inherently entitled.

I have a complaint. Somehow in your bumbling generosity you have failed to give me everything I want, and my predilection to laziness and irresponsibility (which I cleverly mask with stories of a hectic schedule, because I'm sure you have no way of verifying it with the school; my, how clever I am!) deserves the maximum amount of monetary compesation your program allows, if not more.

Furthermore, I cannot understand why you ask more of me than less than the bare minimum. The demands imposed on my time by your program are outrageous. The sheer audacity of your asking me to once a month meet for fifteen minutes with a counselor is upsetting, and when coupled with your request for me to also once a month turn in a sheet of paper with my attendance record on it, it becomes downright unbearable. The paltry assistance your office offers me is not worth such effort. Sure, you purchase all my books and supplies, pay for my children's daycare services while I'm in class (and having lunch with friends in the food court), give me free counseling about my schooling and life, and even give me gas money, but twenty minutes of my time once a month is altogether too much to ask.

Also, when things don't go exactly as I expect them to, and there is a line to pick up my book voucher, in which I am expected to actually wait, it is my right to roll my eyes and suck my teeth, and express to you in every way possible my displeasure with the situation. I cannot believe you have the nerve to ask me to wait in a line. You, Caitlin, as the first point of contact for all students deserve to experience the brunt of my displeasure. You are rude and unhelpful, and really should be more amenable to giving me my money even if I haven't made the time to drop off an attendance sheet or meet with my counselor. You are ridiculous, the money is mine, and you have no right to withhold free money from me. You should just do me a favor and be an idiot who believes my lies when I tell you that I did turn in the paper, and take responsibility by saying you lost it. You should also call me every day and tell me what requirements I'm not meeting, because I can't be expected to keep track of my own life. I am, I hope your are not forgetting, a single parent.

Outraged and Abused,
PA Student

**I must post a disclaimer here, because some students are very grateful, work very hard, do have hectic schedules, and always meet their requirements. Not all of them think this way (as implied by the above letter). But some of them...oh, yes, some of them do. I'm plenty tired of their attitudes.