pearls of wisdom

It's important to learn from our daily experiences, right? Right. It's how we grow and become better people. Here are some of the things I've learned from personal experience today:

• 35 miles per hour is a good speed for merging onto the interstate
• the painted white and yellow lines on the roads are more "guidelines" than actual "rules"
• copy machines are mostly for decoration
• paper jams don't necessarily require paper
• psychic mind-reading powers are the norm--if you don't have them, you're an idiot
• spiders make good Christmas decorations
• white people are physically incapable of speaking Spanish (this must be why native Spanish-speakers feel free to say anything and everything they're thinking while you're standing just five feet away; I mean, it's impossible that I can understand what they're saying, right?)
• responsibility is for suckers

I just hope that I can learn as much every day of my life (and just think--today's only half over!).

weekend weirdness

This weekend I saw the movie Max Payne. I had no idea what it was about, but there wasn't much to do, so I saw it.

Now, I understand that there are weird people in this world, with a lot of dumb ideas. I'm not going to pretend like I don't have dumb ideas sometimes, because I do. Dumb ideas are funny, they're entertaining, and goodness knows they keep me distracted in boring places, like work, or the 3 1/2 hour long line for early voting (that was another fun part of my weekend). What I don't understand, however, is how some weird people with dumb ideas can get millions of dollars to make a movie of their dumb idea. The word ridiculous doesn't even begin to describe my opinion of this particular movie. It was cliche (how do you make that little accent over the e?), predictable, and as weird as, well, a vegetarian vampire (team Jacob!). Actually, I take that back--it isn't as weird as a vegetarian vampire. That's strange enough to be interesting, and this was just strange enough to be stupid. There, I said it. I thought the movie was stupid. Let's just say that characters roared in this movie.

But that's just my opinion. My brother liked it well enough, though he wasn't exactly clamoring in line to buy another ticket.

I think sneezing is the closest people can get to roaring. Random, dumb thought, I know. If only I had millions, I could make a movie out of it.